Gender-based Violence: Who will speak for men?
Gender-Based Violence (GBV) is often viewed as a women’s issue, with many organisations and initiatives focusing on supporting female survivors.
However, men too are victims of GBV, and their experiences are often overlooked.
Mr Rex Aiku, a 55-year-old father of two, endured an abusive relationship for over five years.
His wife regularly subjected him to physical and emotional abuse, leaving him feeling trapped and helpless after losing his job and being unable to provide for his family.
“I was ashamed to admit that I was being abused by a woman. I felt like I was supposed to be the strong one, the protector, but I was the one being hurt,” Aiku said.
His wife often used his masculinity against him, telling him that he was weak and that no one would believe him if he reported the abuse.
This left Aiku feeling isolated and unsure of where to seek help.
Similarly, Ade Michael, a 48-year-old entrepreneur, was sexually assaulted by a male colleague at a party.
The experience left him feeling shaken and confused, unsure of how to process his emotions.
“I didn’t know how to react. I felt like I had been emasculated, like I had lost my manhood. I didn’t know who to turn to or how to talk about it,” Michael said.
Michael struggled to come to terms with his experience, feeling failed by societal expectations of masculinity.
He eventually found support through a men’s support group, where he connected with others who had experienced similar trauma.
Experts argue that Aiku and Michael’s stories reflect the need for support and resources tailored specifically for men affected by GBV.
While gender-based violence in Nigeria affects both men and women, men are often overlooked in discussions around support and intervention.
Although the focus has largely been on female victims, a growing awareness is emerging about the challenges faced by male survivors.
Studies show that men experience various forms of GBV, including physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, but these cases are often underreported due to societal stigma and expectations of masculinity.
For instance, a WHO report on violence and health revealed that male survivors of sexual and domestic violence face barriers in accessing support, as societal norms discourage them from reporting abuse.
It is common for male victims to be dismissed or not taken seriously, which only exacerbates their trauma.
However, organisations such as the Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) and the Mirabel Centre in Lagos have begun offering services to men, providing them with counselling and legal support.
Although data on male victims of GBV in Nigeria remains limited, initiatives are underway to improve reporting and response systems.
These efforts include strengthening the capacities of Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs), which provide medical and psychosocial support to survivors of violence, and ensuring these services are inclusive of men.
“While numerous organisations focus on helping female survivors, men often fall through the cracks.
“Men are socialised to be strong and stoic, to not show emotion or vulnerability,” explained Dr Emmanuel Oke, a psychologist specialising in male survivors of GBV.
According to Oke, this social conditioning makes it difficult for men to seek help or discuss their experiences.
Oke stressed the importance of more resources and support services designed to meet the unique needs of men.
This includes counselling, support groups, and advocacy initiatives that acknowledge the specific challenges and barriers men face in seeking help.
In response to these challenges, the Life After Abuse Foundation (LAAF), a non-governmental organisation, has called for the establishment of Nigeria’s first Ministry of Men’s Affairs to address the pressing needs of men.
LAAF’s President, Ms Halima Layeni, believes that such a ministry would advance gender equality by ensuring that men receive the same level of support, opportunities, and empowerment as other demographics.
“This ministry would be a fundamental step towards rectifying the persistent neglect of men’s unique challenges in society,” Layeni said.
She noted that men in Nigeria face numerous overlooked issues, including violence, domestic abuse, and assault, all of which remain underreported due to entrenched societal stigmas.
Moreover, men in Nigeria are dealing with alarmingly high rates of depression and suicide, exacerbated by societal expectations and a lack of targeted support.
Layeni also pointed out that economic instability worsens these challenges, with many men being deprived of opportunities for skill development and economic empowerment.
“Cultural norms often prevent men from seeking help, leading to unaddressed mental health issues and violence.
“Despite these struggles, men continue to fulfil their roles as providers, breadwinners, husbands, and fathers, often carrying these burdens in silence,” Layeni added.
She argues that a dedicated ministry would bridge these gaps, offering targeted support and reducing the stigma surrounding men seeking help.
In Lagos State, the Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA) has called for men to join efforts in curbing sexual and domestic violence in the state.
The Executive Secretary of DSVA, Mrs Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi, stressed the importance of engaging men to help speak to their peers and raise awareness about sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV).
“Two weeks ago, we heard of a man using a hot iron on his son’s buttocks.
“The boy had to be rescued and placed in a home provided by the Ministry of Youth and Social Development; the suspects have been arraigned.
“We need to be proactive, engage the community, and raise awareness about the different forms of abuse,” Vivour-Adeniyi said.
She also urged the public to understand that ignorance of the law is no excuse and emphasised the importance of support services available for victims of SGBV.
Also, the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) has reaffirmed its commitment to addressing SGBV through continuous sensitisation and training of law enforcement officers.
Mrs Yemisi Akhile, Deputy Director of the Lagos State NHRC, stated that the commission ensures law enforcement is equipped to handle SGBV cases sensitively and effectively.
“Survivors need to feel safe and comfortable in assisting the prosecution, particularly in rape cases, which are often associated with stigma.
“We ensure that the justice system operates fairly and that survivors are not exploited after they have been referred to the police,” she said.
Akhile stated that more must be done to address the unique challenges faced by male victims, such as improving data collection and establishing tailored support services.
Stakeholders say this would not only help male survivors heal but also create a more inclusive approach to tackling GBV in Nigeria.
They argue that by acknowledging the experiences of male survivors and providing them with the necessary support, there will be a more inclusive and supportive society for all survivors of GBV.
By Abiemwense Moru
