Traditional weddings connect couples to their roots - Lagos residents

A lawmaker in the Lagos State House of Assembly, Mr. Bonu Solomon (APC-Badagry 1), and some residents of the state have advised that traditional weddings should not be jettisoned.

They aired their views in separate interviews with the newsmen in Lagos.

The advice was on the backdrop of controversies over traditional weddings gradually becoming irrelevant in the wake of modern religious beliefs.

The lawmaker said traditional weddings held significant cultural, social, and symbolic values in many societies.

According to the lawmaker, it connects couples to their roots, honouring ancestral customs, traditions and often involves the entire community, fostering unity and strengthening social bonds.

“Traditional weddings are often less expensive than white weddings, focusing on meaningful customs rather than elaborate decorations,” he said.

Mr Lateef Rasheed, the Chairman, Nigeria Bar Association, Badagry Chapter, said traditional wedding established who we are as a people.

According to him, it traces the roots of both the bride and the groom and exposes the lifestyles and characters of both parents and their backgrounds.

“In traditional marriages, dowries are paid, certain food items and other items are demanded, which are normally brought by the family of the bridegroom.

“Before traditional marriages are conducted, the families of the bride and groom would have established a certain level of relationship; this is not done in white or conventional weddings.

“In conventional marriages, it is not compulsory that the two families meet or know each other; what is mostly required is the consent of the parties marrying each other with two witnesses.

”However, it must be noted that both traditional and statutory marriages are recognised under the Nigerian law,” he said.

Alhaji Hakeem Odubeko, a 67-year-old general merchant who resides in Ikorodu, said traditional weddings were preferable to white weddings because it gave more respect for the bride and added to her ability to endure challenges in the union.

Odubeko said both couples would be guided by the principles and laws of their traditions with caution to live up to the expectations of both families.

Mrs. Adewunmi Ajayi, a trader in the Ijede area of Ikorodu, said there was nothing like a white or conventional wedding in the past; couples were traditionally married.

“The colonial masters introduced the new style of marriage, the white wedding, to abolish the traditional wedding,” she added.

Mr. Babatunde Ajose, the Chief Executive Officer, WestGate Resources Development Centre, Badagry, said traditional weddings remained the real weddings, according to our culture, and are recognised by law.

“The features and arrangements take into cognisance all the cultural attributes in our customs and tradition.

“The Church, Nikhai, and Court weddings that we take as important are other people’s cultures; they were imported with religion and colonialism.

”The features do not recognise some of our cultural beliefs like polygamy, submission to marriage tenets, taboos, existence, and roles of family members in the success.

“This has led to incessant cases of divorce and violence in marriages.

“We, as a people, should come to the realisation that the return and adoption of our own culture and its practice is the beginning of building a sustainable and successful society,” he said.

In his response, Dr Ovie Edomi, a publisher in Ikeja, said marriage was an institution ordained by God before the advent of Christianity.

“The traditional marriage is as old as the creation of man and it began from the stone age till man embraced modern civilisation.

“It is very important because it is a way of honouring families of the bride, and equally a thing of pride to the groom and his family.

“Once a woman has been married, the man has the assurances that the wife will be committed to him, having paid the dowry in line with the tradition of the woman’s place of origin,” he said.

Mrs. Adejoke Alogba, a trader in Alogba Estate, Ibeshe, said that a traditional wedding was preferable to a white wedding because it allowed the bride to have a better understanding of her husband’s culture.

Alogba said traditional weddings fostered long relationships between husband and wife because they encouraged payment of dowry and discouraged separation, which in turn made divorce a bit difficult.

Alhaji AbdulRasak Osho, former Chairman, Iponri Housing Estate, Surulere, Lagos, said that in traditional weddings, things that were forbidden by both families were made known to the new couple.

According to him, they become aware of it and live their lives in harmony for as long as they are destined, and by extension, the community also remains peaceful.

Mr. Taiwo Bello, a member of the NBA in Badagry, said the major significance of traditional weddings was the introduction of families and the acceptance of both.

“Also, there is no restriction in law as to when to divorce or marry more wives or husbands,” he said.